Hearts Knit Together- Staying Connected as a Family
“…having their hearts knit together
in unity and love towards another.”
Mosiah
18:21
"Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement.”
Elder
Marvin J. Ashton
The gospel teaches us that the families can be eternal. The
Lord has restored the sealing power to bring families together eternally. It is
our responsibility to bring families together now.
Todays mobility means that most families are no longer
living in the same place. Children often grow up far from their extended
family. It is easy for them to grow up not having a relationship with
grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We as grandparents, children, and
grandchildren have a responsibility to cultivate in our family a sense that we
all belong together eternally. It is the responsibility of each family member
to find ways to stay connected. As parents we can show our children how
important these connections are through our example.
Relationships with extended family members help strengthen
us as we work towards common goals and serve one another. We can offer support
and unconditional love to family members who may be facing challenges. As we
diligently strive to stay connected as families our hearts will be knit
together in unity and love towards one another.
I have included many ideas for helping you stay connected
to family members. The purpose is to help you find things that will work for
your family and hopefully these ideas will trigger new ones.
Technology-
Staying Connected Across the Miles
1- Use real time audio/visual technology to talk to family. It helps to set a specific time to talk each week.
Skype- www.skype.com Skype is a great way for families
to stay connected. Download Skype to your computer and you can call, see or
text. You need a device with internet access, a microphone and webcam. Skype
can also be used to call cell phones and landlines, but you must have money in
your account. They also offer global calling plans. A friend used this to call
her husband daily when he was deployed.
FaceTime- On Apple devices, iPad, iPhone and Apple
computers. Works from Apple device to Apple device.
2-
Set up a family blog or website. We use a website to share family recipes. Go to www.vanillacarrots.com to see it. It’s
very basic and everyone has the login information so they can contribute. Each
family also has their own blog so we can see what they are doing and comment.
You could also do a family history website. We have a website where we share stories
and photos of our ancestors and family members.
Here are links to a few websites offering free and easy
blogs:
4-
Family Calendar- You
can print a family calendar so everyone can keep up with birthdays,
anniversaries or other important dates to your family. You could also set up an
online calendar.
5-
Family Newsletter-
This can either be an online newsletter that is emailed to each family or you
can print and mail it. Include upcoming family activities, successes and
important dates.
6-
Email- Send regular
email to family members. I purchased a children’s book of jokes and often send the
joke to my grandchildren without the punchline. They send me an email with what
they think the answer is and then I email back with the right answer.
7-
Social media- Facebook,
Google+ and Instagram are ways to see what family members are doing. I try to
comment or “like” whenever
a family member posts something. 8-
Family Photo Books- I
know many young families that create and print books with their photos for the
year, vacations or birthday milestones. Think about sharing these with other
family members.
Fun Family Activities
1-
Try to attend each other’s activities. Sports, plays, dance
performances, blessings, baptisms, ordinations etc.
2-
Have dinner as an extended family when you can. Try setting a regular time…Fast
Sunday, Conference Sunday etc.
3-
Plan a girl’s activity- craft night, service project, or weekend get away. I know
several families who all get together and go to BYU women’s
conference or Time Out For Women together every year.
4-
Plan a boys activity-
camping, fishing, golfing…
5-
Set up regular family reunions
6-
Grandma and Grandpa dates with each grandchild. Although we have grandchildren living in 5
different locations, we try to do these dates when we visit. We have gone to
museums, miniature golfing, movies, out for lunch, dinner or ice cream,
shopping, always allowing the grandchild to choose what we will do.
7-
Attend local plays or outdoor concerts
8-
Have a holiday related activity- Decorate sugar cookies or make cards for Valentine’s
Day. Organize a family Easter egg hunt. Plant a tree on Arbor Day. Make
gingerbread houses- this has become a much anticipated annual tradition in our
family. Each child gets his/her own house to decorate with parents helping the
younger children.
9-
Movie or game nights
10-
Enter a race together.
This can be a fun run where all ages can participate or a race where family
members can train where they live. Then they all meet to participate in the
race together. Those not participating could attend to cheer the participants
on.
11-
Teach your grandchild something you love to do. I spend time sewing with my grandchildren. We start
with something simple like a pillowcase. I also spend time baking or cooking
with them. Sometimes, when I visit I help each grandchild prepare a meal for
the family. This involves planning the menu, shopping for the food and cooking.
Try making a video of the cooking process to create your own cooking show. I
have a friend who lets her grandchildren spend time working with in her
vegetable garden.
12-
Let children work along side you in your home. They love to help and just be with you.
13-
Send a postcard- When
family members travel suggest they get in the habit of sending other family
members a postcard.
14-
Send packages with
little treats for holidays, send cards or letters, or gift cards so they can
get a treat. We all love to get mail. Some of our grandchildren live in a small
town and love to go to Sonic for a treat. A $10 gift card is good for two trips
to “Happy
Hour.” Other
grandchildren love Chick-Fil-A and so I send a gift card so that they can go
out to lunch with their mom.
15-
Organize an ancestor day- Share stories about some of your ancestors. Find a game or craft from
the time they lived. Plan a meal that they may have eaten. On July 24 we shared
stories and photos of my Swedish ancestors, played a game and ate a Swedish
meal.
16-
Story Time- My
grandchildren always request bedtime stories, not from books, but stories about
people in our family. They love to hear about their grandparents lives when
they were young, they delight in funny stories about their aunts and uncles,
and each grandchild has their favorite that they request repeatedly. These
stories can be written down and/or posted on a blog.
17-
Help young children recognize all their family members- My daughter bought a small photo
album and collected current photos of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
Her two year old son doesn’t see some of his aunts, uncles and cousins for a
year at a time because they live far away, but he always knows them by name.
Spiritually United
1-
Plan a family home evening with extended family periodically.
2-
Help children 12 and older research family history and find names to take to the
temple for baptisms. Organize a trip to the temple so they can go together to
perform the baptisms.
3-
Family Temple Night- schedule
a time for all adult family members to attend the temple together.
4-
Fast together- Talk as
a family and decide who or what you can fast for as an extended family.
5-
When possible attend General Priesthood or General Women’s meetings together. This could include dinner together or a treat
afterwards.
6-
Write notes of gratitude to family members.
7-
Scripture Study- Choose
a book of scriptures to read as a family and share insights you gain on a
regular basis.
8-
Watch General Conference together.
Unite in Service
The LDS Philanthropies website (www.ldsphilanthropies) is a
great place to start. The website highlights an excellent video titled “Journey
to Become- One Family’s Trek to Raise Unselfish Children”
1-
Select an organization- Then
as a family and decide on ways each family member can contribute towards
helping.
Ideas
to get you thinking:
Local food bank
Serve lunch at a homeless shelter
Habitat for Humanity
Women and Children shelters
2-
Create an annual calendar of service ideas that family members can do in their own communities and
then have them report on their experiences:
January- Take treats to the Fire or Police Station
February- Write letters and/or make packages for
missionaries serving from the ward
March- Help out an elderly person that you know, etc.
3-
Remember to serve each other as family members.
Conversations
with Grandchildren- Questions to Ask
What do you like to dream about?
What is your best memory from this school year?
Who is your hero? Why?
How would you describe your family?
What are the most proud of yourself for?
Who is the kindest person that you know? Why?
What do you like most about your best friend?
What is one thing that you would like to learn to do well?
If you were an animal which one would you be and why?
When is the last time someone hurt your feelings? How did
you react?
Do you know someone going through a hard time? How can you
help them?
What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
If you could only keep one thing out of everything that you
have, what would it be?
Who do you think is really successful? Why?
What’s the best thing about your teacher this year?
When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
What three words best describe you?
What’s something that makes you angry?
What is the best compliment that you ever received?
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