Getting Kids to Work (Handouts)

"Getting Kids to Work: Chores and Beyond"

(Chapter 4 of "The Parenting Breakthrough" by Merrilee Browne Boyack)
 "Develop a backbone." "The parents must be firmly in control and have their wits about them or this system (of assigning chores) will fail" Don’t give up! "Prepare mentally. Keep the goal in mind. Be firm and clear and unmovable. Be assertive and wonderfully centered. Now you’re ready."

 "Remember the importance of work. Are the parents lazy, or do they take the ‘easy road?’"

"Parents have to be the ones who understand the importance of everyone working to make a good family. They understand the end goal. They understand that it’ll be hard for quite a while to get their children to take responsibility for their work assignments. But they are willing to stay committed to this goal."

 "Self-maintenance tasks are pseudo-chores: Make your bed, pick up your toys, brush your teeth, clean your room. Those aren’t chores that contribute to the family." "Making home work a priority is crucial." "If you place a serious value on the things your kids learn and do at home, so will they. If you treat those things as the last priority, so will they."

 Use "The Plan" (Make one!) "You should look at what tasks your children are scheduled to be learning and turn those into chores." (weeding, vacuuming, etc. until they learn the task) "Get the work done and complete their training at the same time!"
 "Use Lots of Methods" 1. "Pocket chart", "to-do" and "done" pockets for each task: pray, straighten room, brush teeth, and so on. You may add a couple of daily chores as well. 2. Zone management. "The house is divided into zones, and each person is responsible for keeping his or her zone clean and tidy all the time. Zones rotate monthly.

3. Chore Wheel. "This is a rotating chart listing chores that change every week. This idea is good if the children are of similar abilities, and it adds variety. 4. Random choice. With this method, the kids choose their chores each week in a random way. (such as a balloon with chore inside) 5. Monthly rotation. Works well for older kids. "I found that if the children have to do the same task for the whole month, they’re less likely to do a skim-type job because they know they’re still the ones having to do it the next week. Plus it gives them time to really learn to do the chore will and builds up skills. It also gives them some of the sense of ownership that is such a part of the zone management system, which is good." Have A and B weeks. "A-week chores are household chores such as: vacuuming, sweeping, and cleaning bathrooms. B-week chores are outside chores like: weeding, fertilizing the yard, sweeping the outside, and so on." Each month they switch to a new set of chores. "One week the kids do A week chores, the next week do B week chores. This adds variety, and it gets both the inside and the outside done. It also gives the children crucial training and experience in lots of chores, not just house stuff. Each week they switch to a new set of chores." (you

can initial the chart as it’s completed) 6. Blitz method. This is where the whole family pitches in and cleans the whole house or a specific room in one time period." "We set the timer, pick a room, and go! We put on some loud Motown music and let’er rip, and it’s fun." 7. Sixty-second straighten: "The children all go to their rooms and we count out sixty seconds and see how fast they can clean. It’s amazing what they can get done in one minute!"



Implementation Tips:
 "Define the chore clearly" (cards for each chore with a list of tasks)



 "Set a definite time frame (by noon on Saturday for example) and have consequences that can be evoked if the jobs are not completed, such as a loss of privileges "Chores before cartoons" or, my personal favorite, "penalty chores."

 "Have a no-nonsense attitude." (don’t cave in & give second chances)

 "Use rewards. We do not believe in paying for chores. However that does not mean that there are no rewards. For little ones, stickers are absolutely fabulous. They love stickers." (smiley faces, initials, etc.)

"When the kids were little and had finished their daily chores, I would put on red lipstick and give them a big kiss on their foreheads. They would wear their "kiss-mark" all day like a badge of love."

"We would occasionally give rewards for attitude or promptness-if they did their chores willingly or got them all done on time, sometimes they would get a coupon for ice cream or something. In such cases, random rewarding works best. Do not give a reward all the time. But if every once in a while you can reward some less-tangible aspect like quality or mood, that will help improve the overall work. As the kids get older, make the rewards fewer and farther between. You want the children to get to the point about age ten where they just do their chores because we all do them, and that’s the expectation. You want to eliminate the mentality that they have to get something tangible reward for everything they do."

 "Post Mom’s own chore list"

 "Use both arms - If you’re married, get your spouse to back you up completely on chores."
 "Be persistent. Day after day, week after week, month after month, just keep plugging away at it. Some weeks will go great; others will be horrendous. Keep working at it. It will get better and easier. But it will never be perfect."