The Spiritual Benefits of Work (Handout)

　

"The Spiritual Benefits of Work"


"Raising Up A Family To The Lord" by: Gene R. Cook
(Taken from Chapter 8: "Teaching Your Family about Work and Finances")
"…Verily, be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many thing of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness." (D&C 58: 26-27)

"The commandment to work was one of the first commandments given by the Lord to his children. I believe the Lord knew that if we were idle, we would be more prone to discouragement and temptation." (pg 226)


"We must be careful not to provide an easy life-style for our children; rather, we must help them provide a life for themselves."
Teaching Children to Work At Home


"Where will children learn the principles of work? They must learn them at home. These principles are not necessarily learned because parents try to teach them. They must be experienced by children in doing the work itself."


"Parents must take the lead in determining what work must be done around the home and then dividing that work among their children according to their age and abilities and any special needs. This division of responsibilities will change over the months and years as the family grows older and as needs at home change, and it will depend on the children’s physical, mental, and emotional ability."

"Why is it necessary for children to work, and work hard, around the home?" (see pages 230-232)





1. Work causes children to be more disciplined.


2. Work causes children to feel a part of the family, part of a team.


3. Work helps the family fulfill family objectives. Keeping up a home requires lots of work: cleaning, repairing, painting, gardening, and so on. Children benefit from that work, and they also have a responsibility to help accomplish it.


4. Work teaches children responsibility. It teaches them that they must do their part in the family as well as in society. Work will also help children become responsible Church members, and it will be of great assistance to them when they must go into the workplace and sustain themselves in the world.


5. Work teaches children to be disciplined enough to "finish the job." They learn patience, perseverance, discipline, and many spiritual characteristics that cannot be learned otherwise.


6. Work allows children to have a job inspected and approved and corrected if need be. Proper follow-up from parents allows children to give an accounting of their work. "Work is more than producing a result; it is a discipline." The true outcome is what the children learn. They are building attributes and characteristics in their children that cannot be built in any other way.






7. Through work, children learn to be independent and self-reliant. Parents will not need to worry about them. They will do their responsibilities without being asked, nor will there be a need to follow up much.


8. Work teaches children to have confidence in themselves. They will know they can work, and work effectively.


9. Work teaches a family to be together, work together, and accomplish good things together. We must be sure we don’t just send our children out to work but that we work with them. Besides getting the work done and building good relationships, spending this time together provides an opportunity to discuss prayer, scripture reading, and other important principles. Time spent together with children provides many "teaching moments."

Motivate: Choices and Consequences (Handouts)

　

~Motivate~


Choices & Consequences
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said: "Families unite when they do meaningful things together. Children should work together under the leadership of parents…" ("Parental Leadership in the Family", Ensign, June 1985)
 Be clear about what is expected and when it is to be done. (Don’t add to the job once it’s completed. Set a time to be done- before school or dinner, before you play with friends, or before screen time, etc.)

"When you are done _______ then you can _________."

 Break it down into steps, keep it simple (not so overwhelming for younger children). In our family we say: "Wash, brush, flush" for the morning and evening routine.
 Give them a choice. "Do you want to ________ or _________ first?" (out of the given chores or tasks). Let them choose the family jobs they do (on top of their morning and evening routines). Let them start making their own choices at a young age, such as "Which shirt do you want to wear?"


 Make it fun! (games, sing or whistle, listen to music, dance, etc.)

 Work together, at the same time. (Build your relationships as you talk, laugh, and enjoy the ability to work).

 Praise (pleasure of "thank you" or "good job" or even a smile or thumbs up can go a long way)

 Challenge (set a goal, give daily and weekly jobs)

 Example (teach them by having a positive attitude, and show them how to do the job. At first, you may need to work alongside them, or check their work. Help them learn how to get in those tough spots, how to make it shine.)

 Talk about how good you feel when you’ve finished the job, how much better it looks. Remember true and lasting motivation comes from within. The satisfaction of accomplishment-a job well done. (see "Motivating Learning in Young Children" handout for more details on this topic)

 Let them choose a reward once in a while. (see "Rotate" handout for ideas)
 Be consistent! Follow through with the daily, weekly chore expectations.

 Give appropriate consequences when jobs aren’t completed on time. (no TV, no friends, time out until they are ready to work, etc.)

Cleaning the House is Fun to Do (Handout)

CLEANING THE HOUSE IS FUN TO DO
(How to Make Work Fun)

Chores don't have to be a CHORE for children. As parents, we have the opportunity to
teach them to enjoy working. Much of the joy of work is taught through our own
attitude. If we have a negative attitude about working, it will carry on to our children.
Chores can be a positive experience for children (and adults) as they approach work
with a cheerful attitude and whistle while they work. Playing a game or singing a song
while you work can bring an element of fun into any task.
Instead of just “telling” your child a job to do, try working along side them. They will
be much more apt to stick with it and complete the desired task. Besides reaping the
reward of a clean room, you will be engaging in precious one-on-one time that you
could be robbing yourself of otherwise.
When you bring games and music into a working situation, you instantly transform the
drudgery of work into excitement and fun. Kids of all ages will enjoy these fun-filled
activities.

GLORIOUS GAMES
1. Race against the clock – Set the timer and race to put away toys in a certain
amount of time. Race to complete a certain chore. (Can you clean this bathroom
before the timer goes off? Children can pace themselves as they keep track of
how much time they have left on the timer)
2. Have your child pretend they are a character from a movie (Cinderella scrubbing
the floor or making a bed, Snow White doing dishes, Buzz Lightyear zooming
through the galaxy picking up toys...)
3. Count (1, 2, 3…) - How long does it take for your child to do a task, put something
away, turn off the lights, etc.
4. Guess How Many – “How many towels can you fold (toys can you pick up, etc.) by
the time I count to 100.”
5. A is for… - Choose a category (animals, fruit, vegetables, tv shows, movies, etc.)
and each person takes a turn naming one as they go through the alphabet.
6. Name a State – Take turns naming the 50 states from A-Z.
7. I Spy – think of something in the room and have everyone try to guess what it is.
8. Alphabet game – name things in the room that start from A-Z.
9. 52 Pick-Up – Quickly pick up 52 items around the room and put them away.
10. Movie lines – One person says a line from a movie and the others try to guess
what movie it is from.
11. “I’m going to Africa (or pick a place) and with me I’ll take a …” - The first person
names something that starts with the letter “A”. The next person names what
was said before, and then adds their letter “B” item to the list, and so on.
12. Activity with an Accent – Make your activities fun by only speaking with a
designated accent (British, Texan, southern drawl, Spanish, etc.)
13. For dusting, put a sock puppet on a child’s hand and let them “dust” the tables.
14. Put a sock on a child’s hand for a fun game of picking up toys off the floor.
THE MAGIC OF MUSIC
1. Listen to music. Children love Disney. They can sing along as they work and the
time passes quickly.
2. Race against a song (on a CD) – “How much work can you do before a song
ends,” or “Can you complete this task before the song ends?”
3. Sing or whistle as you work.
4. Name That Tune – Whistle or hum a few notes of a song. The other people have
to guess what song it is.
5. Sing a song – B-I-N-G-O, Old McDonald, the alphabet song, etc. – “How much
work can you do by the end of the song?”
6. A to Z – Think of songs with the titles starting with each letter of the alphabet.

Many Hands Make Light Work (Handouts)

MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK
(Working Together as a Family)

For many of us, family work is like taking castor oil -- something we do as quickly as
possible so we can get it over with and experience the least amount of pain. We want
to get on with the other things we'd rather be doing. The old Erma Bombeck adage
sums up these feelings nicely: Housework, if done properly, can kill you.

When Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden, they found themselves in
a world of continual, steady, hard work. Traditionally, many have considered this need
to labor as a curse, but a close reading of the account suggests otherwise. God did not
curse Adam; He cursed the ground to bring forth thorns and thistles, which in turn
forced Adam to labor. And Adam was told, “Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake.”
In other words, the hard work of eating one’s bread “by the sweat of thy face” was
meant to be a blessing. (Moses 4:23-25)

Undoubtedly, the Lord knew that other activities associated with mortality—like
studying and learning or developing one’s talents--would also be important. But His
initial emphasis, in the form of a commandment, was on that which had the power to
bring His children back into His presence, and that was FAMILY WORK.

Family work is essential for our growth and enriches our lives. Its real power lies in its
potential to transform lives and to forge strong families. It develops character, helps us
become more self-reliant, teaches honesty, and makes us more aware of what others
do for us, fostering humility and gratitude. When family members work together they
learn how to serve each other and sacrifice for the other.

If we look beyond the common criticisms of work – that is mindless, menial, and
demeaning – we can find an unexpected gold mine of opportunity. Some of the things
people most commonly dislike about family work offer us “the greatest possibilities for
nurturing close relationships and forging family ties.”

For example, mindless chores require less concentration, leaving family members able
to give their attention to one another as they work together. As we work, we can sing,
dance, talk or tell stories (Refer to the “CLEANING THE HOUSE IS FUN TO DO”
handout). Laboring side by side with our children as partners often helps them feel
more comfortable talking openly to us. Because work is menial, even the smallest child
can make a meaningful contribution” (Refer to “HUNDREDS of HELPING HANDS”
handout).

As we work together as a family, we learn that the heaviest load becomes lighter. The
daunting job of cleaning the garage now becomes a fun-filled afternoon of a family
talking, singing and laughing together.
Vjollca K. Martinson,”Blessings of Family Work”, (http://griggs.byu.edu:8232/Article.aspx?a=7)
Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless, “Family Work”, BYU Magazine, Spring 2000,
(http://magazine.byu.edu/print.php?a=151)

WORK TO BUILD FAMILY UNITY
Clean out storage rooms
Organize and/or restock food storage room
Dishes
Spring cleaning
Deep cleaning an entire room
Clean out garage
Yard work
Raking and bagging autumn leaves
Felling trees
Cleaning the family car – inside and out
Planting a garden
Canning
Picking fruit
Weeding the Garden
Preparing meals
Holiday baking
Remodeling projects
Painting the house – inside and out
Planting flowers
Sub for Santa

Serving with a Smile (Handouts)

SERVING WITH A SMILE
(Serving Others within Our Home)

Being a good family citizen is one of the values that should be emphasized as children
are being raised in the home. This involves loving, serving, and supporting other family
members. In King Benjamin’s great address, just after he teaches that we should not
“suffer” that our children go hungry or naked or that they transgress the laws of God he
tells us how to accomplish this: “Ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve
one another” (Mosiah 4:15).

We love those whom we serve. Teenagers who serve their parents by being obedient
and helpful, and who serve their siblings by being kind and helpful, will be much more
likely to be loving and kind toward them.

Children will have more respect and love for their mothers if mothers refuse to be the
family maid. Teach them that doing for themselves and for others is much more
rewarding than having things done for you.

Work in the home may be seen as demeaning because it often means cleaning up after
someone else in a very personal manner. Changing diapers, washing soiled bed sheets,
and cleaning up after a sick child can be viewed as demeaning, or it can be viewed as
humbling and a valuable service to loved ones. Working in the home can help us
“acknowledge our unavoidable interdependence, encouraging and even requiring us to
sacrifice ‘self’ for the good of the whole.
”
Sometimes it is easier, as parents, to do all the work in the home instead of nagging
children until they do it. Or we may give children responsibility only for their own
things, such as their own rooms or toys. But researchers have found it is wise to give
children work opportunities that require them to do something for others. This helps
children to be more concerned for others instead of being self-absorbed.

When we learn to work and do service for others early in our lives, we gain valuable
skills that will serve us later. We learn a strong work ethic and how to be othersoriented
that will help them in all aspects of their lives as they grow. This will also help
them prepare and adjust as they move into the “real world.”

The Spiritual Benefits of Work (Handouts)

“The Spiritual Benefits of Work”

“Raising Up A Family To The Lord” by: Gene R. Cook
(Taken from Chapter 8: “Teaching Your Family about Work and Finances”)

“…Verily, be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many thing of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” (D&C 58: 26-27)
“The commandment to work was one of the first commandments given by the Lord to his children. I believe the Lord knew that if we were idle, we would be more prone to discouragement and temptation.” (pg 226)
“We must be careful not to provide an easy life-style for our children; rather, we must help them provide a life for themselves.”

Teaching Children to Work At Home
“Where will children learn the principles of work? They must learn them at home. These principles are not necessarily learned because parents try to teach them. They must be experienced by children in doing the work itself.”
“Parents must take the lead in determining what work must be done around the home and then dividing that work among their children according to their age and abilities and any special needs. This division of responsibilities will change over the months and years as the family grows older and as needs at home change, and it will depend on the children’s physical, mental, and emotional ability.”
“Why is it necessary for children to work, and work hard, around the home?” (see pages 230-232)

1. Work causes children to be more disciplined.
2. Work causes children to feel a part of the family, part of a team.
3. Work helps the family fulfill family objectives. Keeping up a home requires lots of work: cleaning, repairing, painting, gardening, and so on. Children benefit from that work, and they also have a responsibility to help accomplish it.
4. Work teaches children responsibility. It teaches them that they must do their part in the family as well as in society. Work will also help children become responsible Church members, and it will be of great assistance to them when they must go into the workplace and sustain themselves in the world.
5. Work teaches children to be disciplined enough to “finish the job.” They learn patience, perseverance, discipline, and many spiritual characteristics that cannot be learned otherwise.
6. Work allows children to have a job inspected and approved and corrected if need be. Proper follow-up from parents allows children to give an accounting of their work. “Work is more than producing a result; it is a discipline.” The true outcome is what the children learn. They are building attributes and characteristics in their children that cannot be built in any other way.
7. Through work, children learn to be independent and self-reliant. Parents will not need to worry about them. They will do their responsibilities without being asked, nor will there be a need to follow up much.
8. Work teaches children to have confidence in themselves. They will know they can work, and work effectively.
9. Work teaches a family to be together, work together, and accomplish good things together. We must be sure we don’t just send our children out to work but that we work with them. Besides getting the work done and building good relationships, spending this time together provides an opportunity to discuss prayer, scripture reading, and other important principles. Time spent together with children provides many “teaching moments.”

How to Motivate Children (Handouts)

9 Motivators

“How to Motivate Children”

     Emotional drivers are the key to motivating yourself and others. Humans are emotional beings and not logical beings and so we are driven by how we feel about things. You might think a child is driven by the need for ice cream especially when the demand for it is given at 120 decibels in the middle of a crowded mall on a busy Saturday afternoon. But what the child really wants are the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction they will get from the ice cream. They don't really want the ice cream …all they want are the feelings that they associate with having it.

Now I am not discounting Personal Gain as a motivator, I have just discovered that it is not the only factor that will drive children to do things for you and for themselves.

1. Personal Gain – the "What's in it for Me" factor.

2. Prestige – the desire to do something that is valued or valuable.

3. Pleasure – everyone wants to enjoy what they are doing.

4. Security – for some people this is the strongest motivator.

5. Convenience – everyone likes to do things that are easy and simple.

6. Imitation – the desire to be like others.

7. Desire to avoid fear – no one likes to be afraid or uncomfortable.

8. New experiences – positive stimulation empowers people.

9. Love – everyone needs to be loved to grow and develop. 

Getting Kids to Work (Handouts)

"Getting Kids to Work: Chores and Beyond"

(Chapter 4 of "The Parenting Breakthrough" by Merrilee Browne Boyack)
 "Develop a backbone." "The parents must be firmly in control and have their wits about them or this system (of assigning chores) will fail" Don’t give up! "Prepare mentally. Keep the goal in mind. Be firm and clear and unmovable. Be assertive and wonderfully centered. Now you’re ready."

 "Remember the importance of work. Are the parents lazy, or do they take the ‘easy road?’"

"Parents have to be the ones who understand the importance of everyone working to make a good family. They understand the end goal. They understand that it’ll be hard for quite a while to get their children to take responsibility for their work assignments. But they are willing to stay committed to this goal."

 "Self-maintenance tasks are pseudo-chores: Make your bed, pick up your toys, brush your teeth, clean your room. Those aren’t chores that contribute to the family." "Making home work a priority is crucial." "If you place a serious value on the things your kids learn and do at home, so will they. If you treat those things as the last priority, so will they."

 Use "The Plan" (Make one!) "You should look at what tasks your children are scheduled to be learning and turn those into chores." (weeding, vacuuming, etc. until they learn the task) "Get the work done and complete their training at the same time!"
 "Use Lots of Methods" 1. "Pocket chart", "to-do" and "done" pockets for each task: pray, straighten room, brush teeth, and so on. You may add a couple of daily chores as well. 2. Zone management. "The house is divided into zones, and each person is responsible for keeping his or her zone clean and tidy all the time. Zones rotate monthly.

3. Chore Wheel. "This is a rotating chart listing chores that change every week. This idea is good if the children are of similar abilities, and it adds variety. 4. Random choice. With this method, the kids choose their chores each week in a random way. (such as a balloon with chore inside) 5. Monthly rotation. Works well for older kids. "I found that if the children have to do the same task for the whole month, they’re less likely to do a skim-type job because they know they’re still the ones having to do it the next week. Plus it gives them time to really learn to do the chore will and builds up skills. It also gives them some of the sense of ownership that is such a part of the zone management system, which is good." Have A and B weeks. "A-week chores are household chores such as: vacuuming, sweeping, and cleaning bathrooms. B-week chores are outside chores like: weeding, fertilizing the yard, sweeping the outside, and so on." Each month they switch to a new set of chores. "One week the kids do A week chores, the next week do B week chores. This adds variety, and it gets both the inside and the outside done. It also gives the children crucial training and experience in lots of chores, not just house stuff. Each week they switch to a new set of chores." (you

can initial the chart as it’s completed) 6. Blitz method. This is where the whole family pitches in and cleans the whole house or a specific room in one time period." "We set the timer, pick a room, and go! We put on some loud Motown music and let’er rip, and it’s fun." 7. Sixty-second straighten: "The children all go to their rooms and we count out sixty seconds and see how fast they can clean. It’s amazing what they can get done in one minute!"



Implementation Tips:
 "Define the chore clearly" (cards for each chore with a list of tasks)



 "Set a definite time frame (by noon on Saturday for example) and have consequences that can be evoked if the jobs are not completed, such as a loss of privileges "Chores before cartoons" or, my personal favorite, "penalty chores."

 "Have a no-nonsense attitude." (don’t cave in & give second chances)

 "Use rewards. We do not believe in paying for chores. However that does not mean that there are no rewards. For little ones, stickers are absolutely fabulous. They love stickers." (smiley faces, initials, etc.)

"When the kids were little and had finished their daily chores, I would put on red lipstick and give them a big kiss on their foreheads. They would wear their "kiss-mark" all day like a badge of love."

"We would occasionally give rewards for attitude or promptness-if they did their chores willingly or got them all done on time, sometimes they would get a coupon for ice cream or something. In such cases, random rewarding works best. Do not give a reward all the time. But if every once in a while you can reward some less-tangible aspect like quality or mood, that will help improve the overall work. As the kids get older, make the rewards fewer and farther between. You want the children to get to the point about age ten where they just do their chores because we all do them, and that’s the expectation. You want to eliminate the mentality that they have to get something tangible reward for everything they do."

 "Post Mom’s own chore list"

 "Use both arms - If you’re married, get your spouse to back you up completely on chores."
 "Be persistent. Day after day, week after week, month after month, just keep plugging away at it. Some weeks will go great; others will be horrendous. Keep working at it. It will get better and easier. But it will never be perfect."